this just has baby written all over it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
