oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
