i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
In other news, I just burned my penis
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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