Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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