I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
