Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
