Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
