Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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