We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Randomize
