I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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