My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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