I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
