I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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