So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
