Non-Jews are for practice
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
