WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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