jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she woke up with a sticky ear
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
