What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
