Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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