You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
