Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I still have a little drunk in my system
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
