the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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