what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
they're like a gay fantastic four
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
