she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
