Don't you send me to vm
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
