Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
His nipple licking is glorious
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