She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize