doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
