i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
