we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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