so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
worst night to have a conscience
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
