Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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