Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
