Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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