I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
