I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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