sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
