he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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