Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
