can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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