I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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