my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
