just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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