the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
