my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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