My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
