Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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