eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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