How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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