Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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