i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
