I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
