We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
