we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
