You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
