ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
