So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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