I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
be right there i have to get my cape
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
