I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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