ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
