You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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