haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
