Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
