He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it's like iHOP with fire
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize