just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
