What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
