Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
