we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
