Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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